I Disgust Me A good friend of mine just got a new job tending bar at a place in my neighborhood. Actually, it's right next door to my apartment, but we won't get into the problems that are going to arise from having a friend working at a bar that is next-door to my home (did I mention next. Fucking. Door?) but we will mention her quick willingness to introduce me to the other folks in the bar. In spite of being within spitting distance it's not a place I have been generally inclined to go to and I guess she wanted to ensure that should our friendship falter I would still have a reason to come in a drink. So it was that shortly after I sat down se introduced me to one of the owners. We exchanged pleasantries before he asked me the classic question of what I did. I tried to avoid telling him the name of my company because, for the most part, most people I meet have never heard of the place of my employment. I finally did mention the name and even my particular subside eliciting a positive affirmation from him. By God he's heard of us! He then went on to tell me all the things that are wrong with our site. It was actually a fair and even handed critique of our good and bad points which better than I usually get. Then it happened. I suddenly found myself babbling about several recent changes we have made and talking about how we are getting all competitive and shit. I was talking up my companies goddamn site! Now, this may not seem too unusual for most people, but me; I'm a cynical jackass who could care less about what my company does or doesn't do. Sure, I have an inherent investment in the performance of our company in so far as I find I have grown fond of steady employment, but other than that I could give a fuck. After about too much time spent going on and on I began to trail off as I realized what I had been saying. Shame settled in as I recoiled inwardly in terror at my enthusiasm. Soon I was sitting silently, contemplating my beer and feeling nothing but dirty. Like I had been caught masturbating with severed dog paws, or voting republican. I often wonder how this city is changing me, and now I fear the real question is how is my job changing me. I think I'll just pretend I work at a bleach manufacturing concern.
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