Drink Up! So, uh, I just had a bit of an unfortunate epiphany. I don't know why it's taken me this long to piece it together, but it finally dawned on me that the last series of women with whom I have (at the very least) engaged in activities of the making out variety have been fueled entirely by copious amounts of booze. I'm not talking a few cocktail to loosen the mood either. I'm talking, 'good lord aren't we plowed this evening...And now our tounges are in each other's mouths'. This, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing. I mean, who hasn’t been at a party, gotten a little tipsy and then found themselves marinating the flank steak with an unexpected somebody? But, of course, there's more. See, none of these delightful experiences have involved the random stranger. In each case, my partner in ignominy was someone I knew, had hung out with before, been sober while nothing whatsoever happened. Oh, but toss in some liquor and all of a sudden I'm a freakin' love machine! You'd think this would be a good thing right? Gettin' action and the whatnot. That's what I thought at first too, but after this kind of thing happens again and again you begin to realize that the only time women seem interested in having anything of significance to do with you is when they're plastered out of the skulls. You know what? That's kind of depressing. PS-Everybody is invited over to my place this weekend. I'll be baking my special cake with the words "LOVE ME" written in frosting.
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