FAQ for 7/20/03
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Q: So, can we safely call you the most entertaining drunk in San Francisco?
A: It beats what the cops, my friends, and the elderly are calling me.
Q: A tower of shots eh?
A: Never speak of that again.
Q: Who can we thank for those?
A: Well, I don't like to name names, but I will henceforth refer to them collectively as "Those Evil Bastards".
Q: Who was it who kept punching you in the ass?
A: I'm not entirely sure. I suspect a particularly ham-fisted gentleman to be the perpetrator though.
Q: What happened to that birthday doughnut?
A: I ate it. In one glorious mouthful. Because Theo told me I should. And I'm that dumb.
Q: And the rumors of your hanging out with two lovely internet stalkers?
A: Absolutely true. I even have the pictures to blackmail them with later. Did I say to blackmail them with later? I meant to prove it. Prove.
Q: Exactly how drunk did you get anyway?
A: I've been drunker.
Q: Really? How much of your home do you remember?
A: Um...All of it.
Q: I'll bet.
A: Look, I think we're getting a bit off topic here. I thought we were going to discuss multilateral treaties in third world nations against the backdrop of a rapidly unifying global economy, not my personal life.
Q: Your roommate says you were making an awful ruckus at about 1:30 in the morning. What was that all about?
A: Damn your whiskets and pantaloons!
Q: Whiskets? Pantaloons?
A: This FAQ is over!