Note to the Temperance Side of my Brain: Fuck Off! "O.K., so where the fuck were you last night when the girl with the fake boobs as big as my head, and the girl with the real boobs almost as big were doing topless (yes-shirt off, bra off) body shots, making out and chewing nipples for about ten minutes at the pilot seats last night? Oh yeah, you also left too early on Monday because you missed the braless-hosing-down-the-breasteses on the bar as well. Ha-Ha!" Well, I think that rounds out my five day bender of trying with spectacular failure any and all attempts to see naked women. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to seduce a roll of quarters*. *That nonsensical last bit was the punch line of something I was going to write but decided not to because everything thing except that was excruciatingly boring**. **Don't go thinking that I'm going to stay away from excruciatingly boring stories in the future. This is a one time deal.
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