And The Body Turns Against Its Master Recently I've been telling people that my brain has been systematically shutting down as a way of covering up small mental lapses. Of course, I was only joking. Until last week when I was telling a particularly witty story to a friend of mine only to be told that I had already delivered that joyous nugget of comedy. "You lie!", I said. Only I didn't because sometimes I am actually capable of a modicum of tact. Nevertheless I expressed disbelief at the notion that I had re-told a troy only recently acquired. Until, that is, she informed me of the very time and place that I first regaled her with my mighty tale. Which was several weeks ago. I began to dig deep into my memory. What this possible? I swear to God I had yet to tell anybody that story. Moreover, I clearly remembered hearing the story myself only a day or two earlier. Untangling the hazy web of memories it all came back to me, and oh how wrong I was. I began thinking about other things that (I thought) had occurred recently only to find I was way off base. So it seems my joking about my brain shutting down was more of a prophecy than a joke. Next to go was my ability to sleep like a normal person. For longer than I can remember now (see brain issues above) I've been all over the somnambulistic map. If I'm not going to be at 4am, I'm waking up at 4am. Except on the weekends when I gain the magical ability to sleep until 2pm and yet still feel exhausted all day. At first I blamed the poorly thought out, late night lifestyle that I had adopted, but after finally suppressing my irrational late-night urges I found the problem to remain. So now, I suppose, I must accept this new bodily fault and move on. In order to make my failing body fun, I'm starting pool for what will go wrong next! Good odds: Liver failure, lung cancer, erectile dysfunction. Bad odds: Scurvy, Gonorrhea, club foot.
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