I Am Such A Player
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Edited for brevity. Yes, brevity.
J.: So, you did pick up on the hint from F. last night, right?
Me: who was F.?
J.: The girl we played pool with
Me: ah!
Me: No.
Me: What hint?
J.: The hint was, "if you'd just shave that off, you could take me home".
Me: Oh...I missed that.
J.: C'mon... "facial hair irritates me"?
Me: I would like to point out that I had been drinking since 3.
J.: She had been drinking since 2!
J.: You had the upper hand!
Me: I'm no good in those kinds of situations.
Me: This is why I operate at a high level of obliviousness.
J.: That was an easy one, dude. "Oh, it's your birthday? You must take commemorative photos in the booth upstairs".
J.: "Allow me to assist you".
Me: If only I hade "game".