Poker Face As A. and I were heading to the table I joked that I was going to forget everything I knew about poker as soon as I sat down - it took a few moments longer than that. It was a low stakes table, and it wasn't a good sign that the other people at the table appeared to have been playing for God knows how long, and had amassed hundreds. Immediately upon getting settled and buying my meager stack of chips, the dealer told me I had to give him six dollars. I hesitated, greedily grabbing my chips and trying to keep from instinctively shouting "No! Mine!" He eventually convinced me to give over the money, by telling me again to give it to him. My pea brain was spinning as he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to be in the blind. Of course I wanted to be in the blind. I mean, I think I want to be in the blind right? Almost as soon as that was done, it was my turn to bet. I had a pair of tens and decided to call, as I wasn't sure how people at the table were playing. I threw what I thought was the right amount of money into the pot and was immediately informed by the dealer that it wasn't enough. "Oh, uh, well," I stammered. Then he lectured me on proper betting. By the time the flop came down, my mind was gone. A fog of ego-deflating embarrassment clouded my vision like cataracts, and my thoughts went into a tailspin. Where the hell am I? What are cards? This isn't backgammon! I folded quickly to get out, before I completely lost it and tried to re-raise my pants. I decided to try and settle and play conservatively until I could get my bearings, and ended up folding hand after hand. After hand. Of utter crap. After about a half hour I caught pocket fours and decided to make a move. All that folding had given me an image of somebody who was only going to play monster hands. I went in with a healthy raise of six dollars only to be called by several of the other players. The flop gave me a whole lotta nothing, but when the bet came around to me I had no choice but to keep a strong show. And moved all in, with nine more dollars. Everybody folded save one fellow - who called me. BECAUSE HE HAD AROUND $300! Why wouldn't he call my drop in the bucket? And that was that. About a half hour and two hands genuinely played, it was off to the bar to buy an overpriced shot of Jack to soothe my battered self esteem, and think about what I was going to do next time. I totally don't have a problem.
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