Stupid Perhaps one of the most played out joke themes in operation today is the notorious "what's the deal with..." Listen, nobody cares what the deal is ok? Even people who got famous from asking that question get made fun of for asking that damn question. A long time ago, shortly after promising to stop eating paint and a few years before I swore off tequila, I vowed that would never sink to so low a comedic level. I bet you know what's next. What's the deal with ads these days? Ok, there's really only one in particular that's gotten under my skin like the mescal soaked worms that almost kept me from graduating from college. It's for one of the many gut saving fruit-ish flavored medicinal tablets. What brand? Hell if I know, I'm impervious to the power of advertising (unless something is singing). What I remember is this: Two couples sitting around a poker table begin to complain about the unceremonious return of indigestion prompting an animated bottle of the product in question (who, sadly, was not singing) to appear and offer salvation. So far so good, really just the standard crap. Where they lost me was when they decided to illustrate the power of the drug via a lovely CGI rendered king of hearts. The poor king writhed in agony as he had surly eaten some bad clams or something (for which I am sure many servants were executed) until the specific is applied. Miraculously his stomach became transparent, and the viewer is allowed to witness the remedies "coating action". "Oh you lucky regent you!", I exclaimed. And then, for some reason, the word "dramatization" appeared at the bottom of the screen. Dramatization? Dramatization!? Because I don't know that maybe, just maybe, an animated, blithesome playing card displaying real time breadbasket relief isn't real? Because they're afraid I'm going to begin bombarding the antacid company with demands of where I can get me one of those bitchin' playing cards? I know there are unbelievably stupid people in this world. I'm comfortable with the fact that there are instructions on how to use toothpaste and shampoo. This, however, is just way to fucking much. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is that stupid. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make myself a Drain-O shake before rubbing my genitals vigorously on a leaky car battery.
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